Manual of automatic speech for architects | José Ramón Hernández Correa

( Summary of an article of a few years ago, which I like to remember)

The architects we meet often in very inconvinient situations:

– Carlos Luis, you what do you think of the Guggenheim of Bilbao?

– Luisa Fernanda, what does look like to you of Calatrava in Tenerife?

Before these questions at point-blank range we are never to the height. And it is very sad, being architects, not to have an opinion formed about the works of our illustrious companions, and to stutter stubbornly bending the ears without knowing what to say. But it is much worse when yes we have an opinion, because then we issue rumblings of the bowels and bark: “it is one p … m …..!”, or: “it is coj …..!” “, which leaves us as ignorant, rude and bad-mannered louts before whom it was hoping that we were capable of articulating a speech.

We are architects, that is to say, persons with a discharge (it is supposed) technical and humanistic formation, and one has to notice us. The prestige of our profession is in game. When someone resorts to our opinion or to our judgment entrusted in our knowledge and in our polite sensibility, we can answer him either with an embarrassing blow, with the coloured face of shame and of ignorance, nor either with an outburst.

Our obligation is a conceptual speech opens at par that flowery, and for it, as aid and medicine of urgency, I give you a table and a few simple instructions.

The table has seven columns, from her A to the G, and twenty rows.

The structure is very simple. It is a machine of forming phrases with the same composition:

a).- A noun phrase that consists of article, noun, adjective and complement, all this acting as subject.

b).- A verbal syntagm that consists of verb and direct complement (formed by noun, adverb and adjective), all this acting as predicate.

The fact that all the phrases have the same formal structure it is allowed that every element should be exchangeable for other one of the same column, without another repercussion that his meaning, which, on the other hand, is perfectly empty.

This allows to speak and to speak without saying anything.

It is necessary to use a procedure to extract at random a number between twenty. He can be the icosaedro of cardboard which development I will attach in the near entry. But it can be any different: Twenty papelitos numbered, letters, etc. Or, simply, one itself is saying the numbers to I volley.

Each of the numbers that we extract gives us a row, and this it it is necessary to do seven times, one for every column. A number is obtained first from one to twenty for the column A, other one for the B, and this way.

If, for example, the numerical series goes out for us 3, 13, 7, 2, 15, 20 and 9, the corresponding phrase will be: “The materiality topológica of the ictus expresses an intensely metaphysical coldness”. Absorb you this!

It is necessary to indicate that each one can and must adapt the table to his tastes. (For example, ictus, the blow of the musical measure, I like the word, and because of it I put it in the cabin C-7, but I understand that he does not say anything to others).

Also it has seemed to me to be interesting the word “designs” in the A-7, and in addition I like it “ideally” in the B-19, and I do not want to remove any of the two because each one is useful for his game. But if it goes out for me 7 in A and 19 in the B I still have: “The ideal idea …”, which, obviously, I will change into another word anyone. For limit, the G-15 is “idealistic”, and also I like that it is there. I believe that there are no any more repetitions, and this one I do not want to remove it, but others can do it.

And nothing more. I believe that it is quite clear, and the table ready to be used.

Practise with her. Take words to I volley or do it seem to you. In a few minutes you will be unbeatable, and even you will be able to write incomprehensible articles (and without any sense), that is what we all cover looking.

José Ramón Hernández Correa · Doctor Architect

Toledo · september 2010

José Ramón Hernández Correa

Nací en 1960. Arquitecto por la ETSAM, 1985. Doctor Arquitecto por la Universidad Politécnica, 1992. Soy, en el buen sentido de la palabra, bueno. Ahora estoy algo cansado, pero sigo atento y curioso.

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